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I’m left feeling that love isn’t gonna win this in the end Like we’re clinging to the tail-end of the rope. Or the famously great Britain saying no to refugees.Īnd I’m left feeling like there’s nothing we can do now Or fascists taking power or Teachers giving up They’ll bleed you dry, they’ll bleed you til you drop.Īnd different sects who wish each other deadĪnd all of it the fault not of the people at the topīut at the bottom, like the Daily Mail said.Įvery day it seems there’s something else nowĮither Trump or Ice Shelves melting to the seas (Tell us) those folk at the bottom are the problem We stand and watch as hospitals just simply disappear.īut worst of all we’ve turned on one another We’re electing cheats and frauds and liars and robbers
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We’re dropping bombs on people in the desertĪnd when they run we tell them don’t come here I know I’m not alone in thinking this muchĪnd there’s folk who’ve phrased it with more eloquenceīut seeing what we’re doing to this planet and each other I’ve a very low opinion of people at the momentįor whilst person by person we seem just fineĪs a species we’ve earnt nothing but contempt. If it made you cry (as it almost did me, reading it out loud), then I’m both sorry and not sorry x Oh and just to say, I bloody love being on Countdown and all the lovely things that have been said to me over this week have been enormously happy-making, so THANK YOU X It’s imperfect, but I thought I’d share it with you anyway. Since writing this for Countdown (which I think we filmed in October), there has been a charity Carol concert that I was meant to be performing at, which at the last minute I couldn’t attend. They will not shut up for a spell while I watch Doctor Who!Ĭhristmas! Christmas Christmas! Falala’s and Whoop de doos Whilst your sugar-rushing children scream their heads off like a freighterĪnd despite this being your house and these people “loving” you Their fat backsides into your house and sit down at your feastĪnd never once say thank you and fart like rising yeastĪnd drink your scotch and fall asleep and treat you like a waiter Once the shopping’s been unloaded and the presents are all wrappedĪnd the whole house has been washed and cleaned and polished, mopped and straightedĪnd your hyperactive children have been chemically sedatedĪnd the stockings have been strung up and the red wine’s all been mulledĪnd the sprout stems have cut crosses and your sense of joy’s been dulledĪnd the next day you’re awoken by your kids at 5amĪnd there’s really no convincing them to go to bed againĪnd there’s wrapping paper everywhere, and then you start the boozeĪnd you try to tidy up again before your inlaws cruise The thousand photos that you’ll take! The jolly time you’ll capture!Īnd then when Christmas Eve rolls round, it’s your time to relax Oh Christmas Christmas Christmas! Oh Happiness! Oh Rapture!
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Which if you walk on barefoot, to your eyes brings Christmas tears! Whose branches will be bare by Christmas Eve most probablyīut you smother it in tinsel and you cover it in baublesĪnd your neighbours say it’s lovely even though it looks godawful.Īnd the carpet in your front room holds dropped needles up like spears When the big day’s just a fortnight hence it’s time to get a tree Send cards to all the people you’ve not seen sayin’ you’ve missed ‘em. With about four weeks to go, you’ve still got time to make a list an’ Oh Christmas! Christmas! Christmas! Send Instagrams! Send Tweets!īurn the candles! Burn the brandy! Burn the credit card receipts! There’re no reasons your kids shouldn’t get the things they want! Not any! Their body weight in haribo, a playstation from SonyĪnd coz it’s Santa’s buying them, well, no-one pays a penny They want an iPad, want some shoes, a bicycle, a pony Than what to them will be brought by old Santa and his Elfs They fill their christmas list with stuff they’ll hate by late December.īy then your children have begun to think of little else You must ensure this Christmas is the best you’ve ever had!Īnd if with children you are blessed it’s early in November The advertising companies become a little bolderĬhristmas! Christmas! Christmas! Christmas! Christmas! Scream the ads Then sometime in October when the nights are turning colder
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You just popped in for suncream, but you leave with Christmas Crackers. You’re wearing shorts and sunnies as you glide past the shelfstackers This ode explains why everyone loves it to smithereens!Ĭhristmas starts in August during Summer holidaysįor that is when the supermarkets put out their displays. Oh Angels Wings! Oh Happy things! It’s nearly Christmas Day!įor those of you uncertain of what Christmas really means It’s Christmas time! Oh woopdedoo! Oh joy! Kalloo kalay!